To Influence or Be Influenced?

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Published on: December 11, 2018

How have you impacted somebody in the community?

Well, have I come up with a doozy of a topic for this month for the TSQLTuesday party. Its not easy to step out of ones own comfort zone. Its even more difficult to fathom the thought and action of performing a self review. That is in essence the task at hand – self review or have somebody else review your personal contributions to the community.

In the invite, I mentioned how many of us have been able to come up with lists of people that have impacted us personally. Using that previous exercise would be a pretty good resource for some to maybe find out more how it was they influenced another person in the community.

To be candid, the invite is not just for those who have influenced others but also for those who have been influenced. If somebody had an impact on your career or your personal identity, take a minute to chat with them and let them know!

Surprises

How great is it to provide a service to somebody and then to receive a legitimate and meaningful thank you? The SQL community gives and gives and gives and all too often there is no personal note of gratitude for the help given. Every once in a blue moon, that thank you comes and a really cool calming feeling may just overwhelm you. That is when you know you have done good and have meant something to somebody in their life or career.

I am not talking about the flippant thumbs ups, or likes as you may see in social media. Granted, seeing those likes and retweets is probably nice to see on occasion. It just doesn’t bring a real valid connection to the people you are trying to help.

These kind of personal connections are the types of things that build friendships, networks, and long lasting relationships. Someday, this relationship may turn into a client or co-worker or even future mentor (we all can learn something new from other people).

I have had this kinds of conversations more than a few times with the most recent just occurring today from a client. The latest opportunity came as a candid conversation after taking a week long vacation. The client asked me over for a quick chat and reminded me of how thankful they are for the effort and long hours I have given them. The stability they now see with the environment has brought peace of mind and comfort knowing the database will be up when they need them. It has been a culture shift in how databases are viewed there and it has been a good and meaningful shift. This organization is now setup to bring on more talent to a database team.

Just as meaningful is the opportunity I had to chat with another MVP. This person pulled me aside at a very popular conference. I must admit this one blew me away because I had no idea. This person proceeded to tell me how thankful he was that I was a good example as a friend and mentor. He was also appreciative of the time I would take to answer his technical or non-technical questions. Unbeknownst to me, this was happening while he was hitting a rough patch (his words).

This second experience was extremely humbling to me. I share this because I was unaware of the profound impact I was having on this person who later became an MVP. I didn’t do anything super special. I just did what I felt was right. The experience reminded me of why I do the things I do in the community. While extremely gratifying to give and help, it is also very humbling to be able to give, help and be reminded of how a little effort can have a profound effect.

For me, this reminder came when I was personally getting a little down. I needed the reminder to keep it humble and continue to give. I enjoy helping in various ways in the SQL community and I was getting a little sidetracked from doing those things I enjoy. So by these people pulling me aside and telling me about the influence I had on them, they unwittingly also had an impact on me. As I have said multiple times, when you give, you also get something in return. That is the nature of service.

 

 

 

Circling Back

TSQL2sDay150x150Just because you give to the community doesn’t mean you can’t also receive. It also doesn’t mean that it has to be done without ever knowing the true impact of your giving. You simply cannot improve yourself if you have no clue how well you are doing.

Getting feedback from others is that little check that is needed to help progress and move in the right direction. When allowing time and opportunity for feedback from others, you are doing yourself a service as well as them. As I noted, these people that gave me this feedback not only told me about how much I helped them, but they also impacted me at the right moment to help me remember the reasons behind why I like to help. Give a little and you will also get a little!

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