T-SQL Tuesday #53 – Work Hard, Play Hard, Joke Hard

Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: April 8, 2014


It is April and April Fools has only just begun.  Well, or so Matt Velic (blog | twitter) would have us believe.

Matt decided that this month for TSQL Tuesday, he would pull out all stops to help us break out the inner prankster in ourselves.

You can read all about it from his invitation here.

Reading the invitation made me immediately flash to a couple of recent possibilities or things that maybe others had done.

For instance, I thought about the April Fools post I did about Backups in SQL 2014.  Mix a little truth and a splash of fun and you have a believable April Fools blog post.  You can read that post here.

Then I thought momentarily on a great post by Paul Randal for April Fools.  Paul talked about a great prank that could be pulled on some co-workers and it would really get them in a frenzy.  You could read about his Day 0 checksum issue here.

Then I flashed to something a friend tried to pull on me.  He sent me a script to the following tune.

[codesyntax lang=”tsql”]


For the seasoned DBA, the joke in this one is easy to spot.  But it will still catch some people and it could provide a good laugh.

But my favorite piece of seriousness to parley in the workplace comes from this gem.


This gem from our friends at ThinkGeek®, can provide several minutes of hard laughter.  You plug this into an USB port that is not very visible and then camp out and watch for the fun to begin.  If they are typing in SSMS, you could end up with some real fun (random key strokes inserted into keywords etc).

Whatever you do, please do not attempt this with somebody who will be connecting to a Production instance.

2 Comments - Leave a comment
  1. Matt Velic says:

    Thanks for participating, Jason!

  2. […] Brimhall – T-SQL Tuesday #53 – Work Hard, Play Hard, Joke Hard: Jason shares a couple of posts that happened on April Fools’ Day […]

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April 2014
« Mar   May »


  • @dbadave87: @dbadave87 wait stats / virtual file stats show no indication of IO pressures / latency either #sqlhelp
  • @SQLPaul: @GEEQL @DBArgenis Thanks. I'm aware of that but our VMWare guy is telling me balanced mode makes no difference on single core VMs #sqlhelp
  • @dbadave87: In a virtual environment, is there any benefit of placing data/log files on diff drives? Or fixing Physical fragmentation? #sqlhelp
  • @GEEQL: @SQLPaul Don't know about VMWare - but 'balanced power' slows down the CPU's - Use CPU-Z to find out more. Check with @DBArgenis #sqlhelp
  • @AngryPets: @dbadave87 #sqlhelp No, that's not what it's saying. Depending upon workload you MAY want to set it < 8 on your systems (say 2, or 4).
  • @NedOtter: @mmoencfi Contact MS. #sqlhelp
  • @SQLPaul: Does Balanced power plan in VMWare clients negatively affect SQLperformance in any way other than the core parking issue? #SQLHelp
  • @SQLDBA: @dbadave87 No - keep at or below the lesser of 8 and the number of cores per NUMA node for less than 8 cores. #sqlhelp
  • @mmoencfi: I am getting sql dumps #sqlhelp what to do next
  • @dbaduo: SQL cluster cratered after blocking on rollback and Error: 17189, Severity: 16, State 1, ideas on error msg? Thx! #sqlhelp

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