T-SQL Tuesday #53 – Work Hard, Play Hard, Joke Hard

Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: April 8, 2014

TSQL2sDay150x150

It is April and April Fools has only just begun.  Well, or so Matt Velic (blog | twitter) would have us believe.

Matt decided that this month for TSQL Tuesday, he would pull out all stops to help us break out the inner prankster in ourselves.

You can read all about it from his invitation here.

Reading the invitation made me immediately flash to a couple of recent possibilities or things that maybe others had done.

For instance, I thought about the April Fools post I did about Backups in SQL 2014.  Mix a little truth and a splash of fun and you have a believable April Fools blog post.  You can read that post here.

Then I thought momentarily on a great post by Paul Randal for April Fools.  Paul talked about a great prank that could be pulled on some co-workers and it would really get them in a frenzy.  You could read about his Day 0 checksum issue here.

Then I flashed to something a friend tried to pull on me.  He sent me a script to the following tune.

[codesyntax lang=”tsql”]

[/codesyntax]

For the seasoned DBA, the joke in this one is easy to spot.  But it will still catch some people and it could provide a good laugh.

But my favorite piece of seriousness to parley in the workplace comes from this gem.

ae83_phantom_keystroker_v2

This gem from our friends at ThinkGeek®, can provide several minutes of hard laughter.  You plug this into an USB port that is not very visible and then camp out and watch for the fun to begin.  If they are typing in SSMS, you could end up with some real fun (random key strokes inserted into keywords etc).

Whatever you do, please do not attempt this with somebody who will be connecting to a Production instance.

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  • @Ko_Ver: @NickyvV no, no special tricks in the package :) #sqlhelp
  • @NickyvV: @Ko_Ver I've seen that last week that the Job (step) succeeded, but it actually failed with an error #sqlhelp
  • @NickyvV: @Ko_Ver Is FailParentOnFailure set to false on a task/container maybe? #sqlhelp
  • @Ko_Ver: When I start an Agent job, the "job running" pop-up says there's an error. But SSIS catalog and Agent history says jobs succeed. #sqlhelp
  • @DbaMayor: #sqlhelp I'm seeing LCK_M_U and LCK_M_RS_U waits on sec readonly replica with only reporting queries...anyone faced similar issue?..thnks
  • @TrustMeImADBA: Prob not a good question for #sqlhelp but what is the chances time-service changing the time 23 sec forward made my sql cluster failover?
  • @zippy1981: Seem to be that I need to install SSMS vNext Verifying now #sqlhelp
  • @ChrisAdkin8: @YaHoznaDBA you should also compare avg writelog waits to avg tran log write stall,the two are not necessarily foced to be the same #sqlhelp
  • @toddkleinhans: #sqlhelp Will try using lock priority. Totally forgot about that. Thanks!
  • @DBArgenis: @toddkleinhans Compatibility mode is for T-SQL constructs and Query Optimization, nothing else. #sqlhelp

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