T-SQL Tuesday #53 – Work Hard, Play Hard, Joke Hard

Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: April 8, 2014

TSQL2sDay150x150

It is April and April Fools has only just begun.  Well, or so Matt Velic (blog | twitter) would have us believe.

Matt decided that this month for TSQL Tuesday, he would pull out all stops to help us break out the inner prankster in ourselves.

You can read all about it from his invitation here.

Reading the invitation made me immediately flash to a couple of recent possibilities or things that maybe others had done.

For instance, I thought about the April Fools post I did about Backups in SQL 2014.  Mix a little truth and a splash of fun and you have a believable April Fools blog post.  You can read that post here.

Then I thought momentarily on a great post by Paul Randal for April Fools.  Paul talked about a great prank that could be pulled on some co-workers and it would really get them in a frenzy.  You could read about his Day 0 checksum issue here.

Then I flashed to something a friend tried to pull on me.  He sent me a script to the following tune.

[codesyntax lang=”tsql”]

[/codesyntax]

For the seasoned DBA, the joke in this one is easy to spot.  But it will still catch some people and it could provide a good laugh.

But my favorite piece of seriousness to parley in the workplace comes from this gem.

ae83_phantom_keystroker_v2

This gem from our friends at ThinkGeek®, can provide several minutes of hard laughter.  You plug this into an USB port that is not very visible and then camp out and watch for the fun to begin.  If they are typing in SSMS, you could end up with some real fun (random key strokes inserted into keywords etc).

Whatever you do, please do not attempt this with somebody who will be connecting to a Production instance.

SQLSaturday Vegas Style

Comments: No Comments
Published on: April 3, 2014

sqlsat295_web

We are mere moments from the inaugural SQL Saturday (announced a few short months ago) event in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada.  Can you feel the excitement building?

The SQLSat 295 team has been working hard to bring together what we think will be a great event.  From the volunteers, to the speakers, to the vendors, and most importantly to the attendees.

las-vegas-nv2

If you are in Vegas or nearby, we welcome you to come down and check out what we have for you.

This event will be held Apr 5 2014 at The InNEVation Center, 6795 Edmond St., Las Vegas, NV 89118.

Where else do you get an open invitation to learn about SQL Server for free combined with what Vegas has to offer for entertainment?

Just remember, what is learned in Vegas doesn’t have to stay in Vegas.  But what happens in Vegas is up to your discretion.

sqlsat295_tokes

New Backup Behavior in SQL 2014

Comments: 1 Comment
Published on: April 1, 2014

As has been well publicized, today is the official Release To Manufacturing date for SQL Server 2014.  You can read more about all of that here.

Something that hasn’t received much word is a new feature that is a game changer.  I’m not referring to the advancements with the In-Memory OLTP (aka Hekaton).  The real game changer in my opinion is the way backups will be treated in 2014.

encryptionSQL Server 2014 brings the added functionality of encryption to the database backups.  This is a significant improvement to securing data at rest.  This functionality applies to databases that have been TDE enabled as well as those that are not TDE enabled.  This functionality also applies to backups that are compressed and backups that are not compressed.

The beauty of this functionality is that all backups will be encrypted now by default.  What this means is that you need not configure anything on your end to make it happen.  Despite it being enabled by default, you can change the encryption method should you choose.

Another interesting note with this new default behavior is that all of your database backups will fail out of the box.  You might ask why.  Well, there are some pre-requisites that must be met in order for the encrypted backup to succeed.

Here are those pre-reqs.

  1. Create a Database Master Key for the master database.
  2. Create a certificate or asymmetric Key to use for backup encryption.

If you have not created your DMK, your backups will fail and you will be none the wiser until you try to restore that backup.  That is really the way you want to conduct your duties as a DBA, right?  You guessed it, the backup shows that it succeeds yet it does nothing.

As you move forward with your SQL 2014 implementation, ensure you create those DMKs and ensure your backups are safe.

Oh and in case you haven’t noticed, pay attention to today’s date.

 

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